I have a serious problem. I have been muslim for a couple of years. I have a major problem controling my sexually urges. Before I was muslim I had no sex whatsoever and was a virgin. But recently I have been doing some haraam things. On 3 occasions I have payed for oral sex from prostitutes. This is all I have done. My penis has never been in a women's vagina. Is this zinnah? Am i still a virgin? Am I still muslim? What can I do to stop? Please help me!
jazaakum Allahu khirun
Praise be to Allaah.
There is no doubt that what you have done is a kind of zinaa (unlawful sexual activity), although it is not the worst kind, so you must repent sincerely to Allaah, give up this sin, regret what has happened and be determined never to go back to it. Avoid bad friends and bad places, lower your gaze and keep your distance from women to whom you are not related (non-mahram). If you repent to Allaah, He will accept your repentance. You are still a Muslim, but you have committed an act of disobedience towards Allaah by doing this sinful act, so come back to your Lord and seek His forgiveness for what you have done. Do more good deeds to expiate for and cancel out your bad deeds, do those things that will help you to remain chaste, and hasten to marry according to Islam. Finally, we will leave you with a story from which you may learn a valuable lesson:
Ibn Mas’ood reported that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and told him that he had kissed or touched a woman, or something similar, as if he was asking how he could expiate for this (according to another report: a man had done something with a woman that fell short of actual intercourse. He came to ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, who regarded it as something very serious; then he came to Abu Bakr, who regarded it as something very serious. Then he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). Then Allaah revealed the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” [Hood 11:114]. The man asked, “Is this concerning me, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said: “It is concerning whoever of my ummah does this.” (Reported by Muslim, may Allaah have mercy on him, in his Saheeh, 4963).
According to a report narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah, a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I fondled a woman in the furthest outskirts of Madeenah but I did not actually have intercourse with her. Here I am, judge me as you wish.” ‘Umar said to him: “Allaah had covered you, you should have covered yourself (i.e., you should not have spoken of it).” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not reply at all, so the man got up and left. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent a man to follow him, call him and recite to him the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And perform al-salaah at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder (advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).” [Hood 11:114]. A man who was present said: “O Prophet of Allaah, is this just for him?” He said, “No, it is for all the people.” (Reported by Muslim, 4964).
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
