Haram Relationships

Pre-marital relationships (boy/girlfriends) are strictly Haram (forbidden) in Islam. For non permissible males to have a relationship with non permissible females is one of the major sins in today’s era.

Unfortunately we see this western influence spreading like an illness amongst the Muslim youth. As barriers of work and study have been relaxed by parents, as they would like to see their children prosper, it has brought its evils with it.

In today’s youth the most common of sins after missing prayers, disobeying parents, cheating and lying is harram relationships, freely mixing with opposite sex and pornography. All that starts from online media to the physical act of sins.

Allah Subhana Watala says:

“Tell them (O Muhammad): ‘My Lord has only forbidden indecent acts, whether open or hidden [Quran 7:33]

Pre-marital relationships (boy/girlfriends) are strictly Haram (forbidden) in Islam. For non permissible males to have a relationship with non permissible females is one of the major sins in today’s era.

Unfortunately we see this western influence spreading like an illness amongst the Muslim youth. As barriers of work and study have been relaxed by parents, as they would like to see their children prosper, it has brought its evils with it.

In today’s youth the most common of sins after missing prayers, disobeying parents, cheating and lying is harram relationships, freely mixing with opposite sex and pornography. All that starts from online media to the physical act of sins.

Allah Subhana Watala says:

“Tell them (O Muhammad): ‘My Lord has only forbidden indecent acts, whether open or hidden [Quran 7:33]

Ooh!! I'm wondering !!Will men in Paradise have intercourse with al-hoor aliyn?!!

I'm wondering will the men from amongst the human race that enters paradise, will they have sexual intercourse with the "HOURIS" women in the paradise .

Praise be to Allaah.

Allaah has prepared for His believing slaves in Paradise that which no eye has seen, no ear has heard and has never even crossed the minds of men, such that even the person who has the least blessings in Paradise will think that he is the most blessed among them. Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The lowest of people in status in Paradise will be a man whose face Allaah turns away from the Fire towards Paradise, and shows him a tree giving shade. He will say, ‘O Lord, bring me closer to that tree so that I may be in its shade… Then he will enter his house [in Paradise] and his two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn will come in and will say to him, ‘Praise be to Allaah who brought you to life for us and brought us to life for you.’ Then he will say, ‘No one has been given what I have been given.’” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 275)

Among the blessings that Allaah has prepared for His slaves are al-hoor al-‘iyn. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“So (it will be). And We shall marry them to Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes”

[al-Dhukhaan 44:54]

“They will recline (with ease) on thrones arranged in ranks. And We shall marry them to Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes

[al-Toor 52:20]

Al-hoor al-‘iyn are extremely beautiful, such that the marrow of their shins will be visible from beneath their garments. Every man who enters Paradise will have two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn. Allaah says, describing them (interpretation of the meaning):

“Therein (Gardens) will be Khayraatun‑Hisaan [fair (wives) good and beautiful];

Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny?

Hoor (beautiful, fair females) guarded in pavilions;

Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny?

With whom no man or jinni has had Tamth [opening their hymens with sexual intercourse] before them.

Then which of the Blessings of your Lord will you both (jinn and men) deny?

Reclining on green cushions and rich beautiful mattresses.”

[al-Rahmaan 55:70-76]

“And (there will be) Hoor (fair females) with wide lovely eyes (as wives for Al-Muttaqoon – the pious).

Like unto preserved pearls”

[al-Waaqi’ah 56:22-23]

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The first group will enter Paradise looking like the moon on the night when it is full, and those who follow them will be like the brightest shining star in the sky. Their hearts will be as one, and there will be no hatred or jealousy among them. Each man will have two wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn, the marrow of whose calves can be seen from beneath the bone and flesh.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 3014)

It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘Going out and coming back for the sake of Allaah is better than this world and all that is in it. And a spot the size of the bow of one of you in Paradise – or a spot the size of his whip – is better than this world and all that is in it. If a woman from among the people of Paradise were to look at the people of this earth, she would light up all that is in between them and fill it with fragrance. The veil on her head is better than this world and all that is in it.’” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 2587)

A man will have intercourse in Paradise with his wives from among al-hoor al-‘iyn and his wives from among the people of this world, if they enter Paradise with him. A man will be given the strength of a hundred men to eat, drink, feel desire and have sexual intercourse. It was narrated from Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer in Paradise will be given such and such strength for sexual intercourse.” He was asked, “O Messenger of Allaah, will he really be able to do that?” He said, “He will be given the strength of one hundred (men).” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2459. He said, (it is) saheeh ghareeb).

It was narrated from Zayd ibn Arqam that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “A man among the people of Paradise will be given the strength of a hundred men for eating, drinking, desire and sexual intercourse. A man among the Jews said, ‘The one who eats or drinks needs to excrete!’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: ‘The excretion of any one of them will be in the form of sweat which comes out through his skin, then his stomach will reduce in size again.’” (Narrated by Ahmad, no. 18509; al-Daarimi, no. 2704)

The mufassireen said concerning the phrase “busy in joyful things” (Yaa-Seen 36:55 – interpretation of the meaning):

‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood and Ibn ‘Abbaas (mayAllaah be pleased with them both), and Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, ‘Ikrimah, al-Hasan, Qutaadah, al-A’mash, Sulaymaan al-Taymi and al-Oozaa’i said concerning the aayaah (interpretation of the meaning),

“Verily, the dwellers of Paradise, that Day, will be busy in joyful things” [Yaa-Seen 36:55]

they said, (it means) they will be busy deflowering virgins. Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, according to a report narrated from him, that “busy in joyful things” means listening to stringed instruments. Abu Haatim said: he misheard the phrase iftidaad al-abkaar (deflowering virgins) and thought it was samaa’ al-awtaar (listening to stringed instruments). In fact the correct phrase is iftidaad al-abkaar (deflowering virgins). (Ibn Katheer, 3/564)

With regard to children, the scholars differed as to whether children would be born as a result of this intercourse or not. Some said that there would be children if the man wants them, but the pregnancy and birth would take just one hour. Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If the believer wants a child in Paradise, the pregnancy and delivery will take only an hour, then the child will be the age that the man wants.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2487; al-Daarimi, no. 2712; Ahmad, no. 11339; Ibn Maajah, no. 4329). And Allaah knows best.

We ask Allaah to admit us to Paradise and to keep us far away from the Fire. May He bless us with the highest Firdaws, for He is the One Who is Able to do that. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of the Worlds.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Husband and wife taking a bath together and looking at private parts

Can husband and wife take a bath together and look at each others private parts? I have been told by some people that while having intercourse with ones wife, the room should be completely dark and one cannot take all the clothes off while copulation. Is it true?
May Allah guide us to the right path.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible for a woman to see all of her husband’s body and for a man to see all of his wife’s body, with no need to go into details, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who guard their chastity (i.e., private parts, from illegal sexual acts), except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for then, they are free from blame; but whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors.” [al-Mu’minoon 23:5-7]

(Fataawa al-Mar’ah by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 121).

Al-Bukhaari reported in his Saheeh (no. 250) that ‘Aa’ishah said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)and I used to bathe from one vessel.”

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath: “Al-Daawoodi interpreted this to mean that it is permissible for a man to look at his wife’s ‘awrah and vice-versa. This is supported by the report narrated by Ibn Hibbaan via Sulaymaan ibn Moosa, who was asked about a man looking at his wife’s private parts. He said: ‘I asked ‘Aa’ishah, and she referred to this hadeeth.’ This is evidence in this matter. And Allaah knows best.”

I say: as for the words that some people attribute to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), that it is makrooh (disliked) for a man to look at his wife’s private parts, this is not saheeh. This includes the reports narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas and Abu Hurayrah according to which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “When any one of you has intercourse with his wife, let him not look at her private parts, because this causes blindness, and let him not speak, because this causes muteness.” Ibn al-Jawzi said: “(This is) mawdoo’ (fabricated).” (See al-Mawdoo’aat by Ibn al-Jawzi, 2/271-272).

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/3801/bath

Masturbating........

I have a question which I am shy to ask but another sister who has come to Islam recently wants an answer to and I do not have an answer (with dilals from the Qur'an and Sunnah). I hope you can help and I hope Allah will for give me if it is inappropriate but as Muslims we should never be shy in seeking knowledge. Her question was "Is it permissible in Islam to masturbate?".
May Allah increase us all in knowledge
Praise be to Allaah.

Masturbation (for both men and women) is haraam (forbidden) in Islam based on the following evidence:

First from the Qur’aan:

Imam Shafi’i stated that masturbation is forbidden based on the following verses from the Qur’aan (interpretation of the meaning):

"And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts). Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, - for them, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors." 23.5-7 Here the verses are clear in forbidding all illegal sexual acts (including masturbation) except for the wives or that their right hand possess. And whoever seeks beyond that is the transgressor.

"And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His bounty." 24.33. This verse also clearly orders whoever does not have the financial means to marry to keep himself chaste and be patient in facing temptations (including masturbation) until Allah enriches them of His bounty.

Secondly, from the sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him):

Abdullaah ibn Mas’ood said, "We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatsoever. So Allaah’s Messenger said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." Bukhari:5066. The hadeeth orders men who are not able to marry to fast despite the hardship encountered in doing so, and not to masturbate despite the ease with which it can be done.

There are additional evidences that can be cited to support this ruling on masturbation, but due to the limited space we will not go through them here. Allaah knows what is best and most correct.

As for curing the habit of masturbation, we recommend the following suggestions:

1) The motive to seek a cure for this problem should be solely following Allaah’s orders and fearing His punishment.

2) A permanent and quick cure from this problem lies in marriage as soon as the person is able, as shown in the Prophet’s hadeeth.

3) Keeping oneself busy with what is good for this world and the hereafter is essential in breaking this habit before it becomes second nature after which it is very difficult to rid oneself of it.

4) Lowering the gaze (from looking at forbidden things such as pictures, movies etc.) will help suppress the desire before it leads one to commit the haraam (forbidden). Allaah orders men and women to lower their gaze as shown in the following two verses and in the Prophet’s hadeeth (interpretations of the meanings):

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is all-aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.) ..... " 24.30-31

Allaah’s messenger said: "Do not follow a casual (unintentional) look (at forbidden things) with another look." Al-Tirmidhi 2777. This is a general instruction by the Prophet to abstain from all that may sexually excite a person because it might lead him/her to commit the haraam (forbidden).

5) Using one’s available leisure time in worshipping Allaah and increasing religious knowledge.

6) Being cautious not to develop any of the medical symptoms that may result from masturbation such as weak eyesight, weak nervous system, and/or back pain. More importantly, feeling of guilt and anxiety that can be complicated by missing obligatory prayers because of the need to shower (ghusl) after every incidence of masturbation.

7) Avoiding the illusion that some youth have that masturbation is permissible because it prevents them from committing illegal sexual acts such as fornication or even homosexuality.

8) Strengthening one’s willpower and avoiding spending time alone as recommended by the Prophet when he said "Do not spend the night alone" Ahmad 6919.

9) Following the Prophet’s aforementioned hadeeth and fast when possible, because fasting will temper one’s sexual desire and keep it under control. However, one should not overreact and swear by Allaah not to return to the act because if one does not honor one’s promise, one would be facing the consequences of not living up to one’s oath to Allaah. Also, note that medication to diminish one’s sexual desire is strictly prohibited because it might permanently affect one’s sexual ability.

10) Trying to follow the Prophet’s recommendation concerning the etiquette of getting ready for bed, such as reading well-known supplications, sleeping on the right side, and avoiding sleeping on the belly (the Prophet forbade sleeping on the belly).

11) Striving hard to be patient and chaste, because persistence will eventually, Allaah willing, lead to attaining those qualities as second nature, as the Prophet explains in the following hadeeth:
"Whoever seeks chastity Allaah will make him chaste, and whoever seeks help from none but Allaah, He will help him, and whoever is patient He will make it easy for him, and no one has ever been given anything better than patience." Bukhari:1469.

12) Repenting, asking forgiveness from Allaah, doing good deeds, and not losing hope and feeling despair are all prerequisites to curing this problem. Note that losing hope is one of the major sins punishable by Allaah.

13) Finally, Allaah is the Most Merciful and He always responds to whoever calls on Him. So, asking for Allah’s forgiveness will be accepted, by His will.

Wallahu a’lam. And Allah knows what is best and most correct.

Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/329/masturbating

Kissing the wife in front of children

What amount of affection can a husband and wife display in front of their children . Can they hug, kiss lightly, hold hands in front of their children?.
Praise be to Allaah.

The Islamic ruling on this matter is as follows:

Firstly: If this hugging and kissing is of the type that takes place between husband and wife when they are alone, then it is not permissible to do it in front of the children whether they are little or big. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“O you who believe! Let your slaves and slave‑girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr (morning) Salaah (prayer), and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the ‘Isha’ (night) Salaah (prayer). (These) three times are of privacy for you; other than these times there is no sin on you or on them to move about, attending to each other. Thus Allaah makes clear the Ayaat (the Verses of this Qur’aan, showing proofs for the legal aspects of permission for visits) to you. And Allaah is All‑Knowing, All‑Wise.

59. And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission, as those senior to them (in age). Thus Allaah makes clear His Ayaat (Commandments and legal obligations) for you. And Allaah is All‑Knowing, All‑Wise”

[al-Noor 24:58-59]

Ibn Katheer said: Here servants and children are commanded not to intrude upon the adults of the household at these times, lest the man be in a position of intimacy with his wife and so on. (3/401).

If children are obliged to seek permission lest they see something of that which takes place between husband and wife, then what about doing such things openly in a deliberate manner? Look at the etiquette that was observed in the household of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and how the Sahaabah (may Allaah be pleased with them) transmitted the details of his life.

The following was narrated from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) concerning that:

It was narrated from Kurayb the freed slave of ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas told him that he stayed overnight with Maymoonah, the wife of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who was his maternal aunt. He said: I lay my head on the end of the pillow and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his wife placed their heads on its side. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) slept until midnight, or shortly before or after, then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) woke and started to rub the sleep from his eyes with his hands. Then he recited the last ten verses of Aal ‘Imraan…

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4571; Muslim, 763.

Al-Nawawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: This indicates that it is permissible for a man to sleep alongside his wife without being intimate with her in the presence of one of her mahrams, even if he has reached the age of discernment. Al-Qaadi said: In some versions of this hadeeth it says: Ibn ‘Abbaas said: I stayed overnight with my maternal aunt one night when she was menstruating. Even though the isnaad of this version is not saheeh, it contains a very interesting idea, because Ibn ‘Abbaas would not have asked to stay overnight on a night when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) may have wanted to be intimate with his wife, and his father would not have sent him there unless he knew that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would have no need to be intimate with his wife – because it is well known that he would not have been intimate with her when Ibn ‘Abbaas was there sharing the same pillow with them and he was watching to see what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did, and he did not sleep or he only slept a little.

Sharh Muslim, 6/46

In addition, doing such things openly is an action that is contrary to honour and decency.

Al-Maawardi said: Honour and decency means making sure that one’s deeds befit the circumstances so that no deeds may appear abhorrent or blameworthy.

Adab al-Dunya wa’l-Deen, 392.

The negative effects that such behaviour has on the children’s upbringing is sufficient reason not to do it, for children are created with the natural instinct to imitate their parents in all their affairs. So there is the fear that one of them may try to do that out of ignorance and a lack of understanding of what he is doing, and this is bad enough. Moreover there is no guarantee that small children talk to others about what they have seen, and it is obvious that this will cause embarrassment and loss of geerah (protective jealousy)

Secondly: If the affection that the husband and wife show in front of the children is of the kind that is usually shown, namely compassion, kindness and care, which will fill the house with peace and respect and happiness, especially on occasions such as Eid etc, that is permissible.

Showing that kind of affection will have an effect on the children’s peace of mind and will make them sense that there is mutual understanding and harmony in their family. There is nothing wrong with showing that kind of affection, but only as much as is necessary and without doing anything that is forbidden. And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/31773/kissing

Maldivian girls forced to have sex during menses

Do you know why am writing this post. It’s very sad that many Maldivian girls have faced a similar situation mentioned in the below article.
A few months back I met a Doctor who is working in IGMH, he told me about a shocking trend in Maldives.
Many girls came to IGMH to consult doctors because their “vaginas” have “some problem”, because of which they faced problems in urinating and severe bleeding. Most admitted that they have been forced to have sexual intercourse during menses.

Many Maldivian girls, who are married, faced this difficult situation. Their husbands forcing them to have intercourse while they are in menses, which is strongly forbidden in Islam and which has a lot of health risks associated with it.
For some girls, this is intolerable, against human nature; others went tolerate it for the sake of their marriage, till health risks were arisen.
Read the following paragraphs carefully. It seems like cry of a Maldivian girl who has faced this bitter situation.

Question: I recently married and my husband has on several occasions had intercourse with me during my menses. Despite my refusal he still would not listen, due to which I am greatly distressed. I am also greatly concerned about the future because I am sure he would do the same. I would like to ask you, that if he attempts to do so again, do I have the right to forcefully stop him or not? Will I be sinful for not doing so?
In the state of menstruation, it is permissible for the husband and wife to lay together, kissing and caressing is also allowed. However, to fulfil ones desires to the extent of having intercourse is strictly prohibited. It is also mentioned in the Holy Qur’an:
“O Muhammed, they ask you concerning menstruation. Say: it is an impurity, so keep away from women in their menstruation and do not approach them till they are purified.” (Surah Baqarah)
In a Hadith, the Prophet has mentioned:
“That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating or that person who has intercourse in the unnatural place (anus) or that person who goes to a fortune teller, he has refuted that religion which has been revealed to me.” (Tirmizhi)
Therefore in light of the Qur’an and Hadith, to have intercourse during menstruation in not only strictly prohibited, but a major sin. It has been mentioned in another Hadith:
“That person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating should give half a dinar in charity.” (Tirmizhi)
In our terms fifty pence or something to its value.
Furthermore, intercourse during menstruation for both man and woman results in many severe illnesses. This fact has been acknowledged by doctors past and present.
If the Husband in an uncontrollable desire forces his wife to have intercourse even though she is menstruating, it is obligatory for her to refuse. If she does not do so, she will also be sinful. If the woman refuses despite the insistence of her husband, she will not be sinful, rather she will be rewarded for abstaining from sin and causing her husband to do so too. From those sins which Islam has classified as ‘major’, one of them is having sexual relations in the state of menstruation. If the husband due to his overriding passions finds it difficult to control himself then during the days of menstruation, separate sleeping arrangements should be made. Furthermore, both parties should continue to repent for this sin thus far.

Answer From: Shaikh Nazeer Ahmed Qasmi – Head Mufti, Darul Uloom Rahimiya, Bandipora, Kashmir:

When is anal intercourse permissable?

Please help me for finding the truth.In Bukhari sharif hadesh no-4170 & 4171,said that anal sex is halal/jayaj.But you said (in mail a & q)that its haram.Now i'm confusied.
I want to know what's the truth?Is anal sex haram or not?please response my quetion
Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

There are many saheeh ahaadeeth which show that anal intercourse is haraam, such as the following:

1 – It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage has disavowed himself of that which was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3904); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

2 – It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a woman in her back passage.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1165); classed as saheeh by Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eid in al-Ilmaam (2/660) and by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

3 – It was narrated that Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth” three times. “Do not have intercourse with women in their back passages.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1924); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

And there are many similar ahaadeeth. Al-Tahhaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Ma’aani al-Athaar (3/43): The reports concerning that reach the level of tawaatur. End quote.

Hence the views of the scholars are based on these ahaadeeth.

Al-Maawardi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Haawi (9/319):

Because that is the consensus of the Sahaabah. It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Ibn Mas’ood and Abu’l-Darda’. End quote.

It says in al-Mughni (7/32):

It is not permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage according to the majority of scholars, including ‘Ali, ‘Abd-Allaah, Abu’l-Darda’, Ibn ‘Abbaas, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr and Abu Hurayrah. This was also the view of Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab, Abu Bakr ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, Mujaahid, ‘Ikrimah, al-Shaafa’i, ashaab al-ra’y and Ibn al-Mundhir.

We have discussed this in some detail previously on this site; please see the answers to questions no. 1103 and 52803.

Secondly:

Some people imagine that it is permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. They understand from the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] that Allaah has permitted everything in this verse, even intercourse in the back passage. This misinterpretation is reinforced for them when they read the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh – and perhaps this is the hadeeth referred to by the questioner – in which it says: It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if (the man) had intercourse from behind, the child would be born with a squint. Then the verse “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] was revealed.

But this is a misunderstanding of the verse. Allaah says “so go to your tilth when or how you will” which means that all variations of intercourse are permitted, so long as it is in the place of tilth, i.e., the vagina, not the back passage. So it is permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife from behind or from in front or lying on their sides so long as it is in the place of tilth and not the back passage.

The evidence for that is Muslim’s report (1435) of the hadeeth of Jaabir quoted above about the reason for the revelation of this verse, in which it says: If he wishes, when she is lying on her front and if he wishes when she is not lying on her front, so long as that is in only one opening.

In Abu Dawood’s report of the same hadeeth (2163) it says: It was narrated that Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir said: I heard Jaabir say: The Jews say that if a man has intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child will have a squint. Then Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223].

In Sunan al-Tirmidhi (2980) in a report which he classed as hasan, it was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘Umar came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed! He said: “Why are you doomed?” He said: I changed my direction last night. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not say anything. Then this verse was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. So approach from the front or the back, but avoid the back passage and the time of menses. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

These ahaadeeth and reports explain what is meant by the verse. So it is not permissible for the Muslim to go beyond that and understand it in ways that are not indicated by the reports or by linguistic usage.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Zaad al-Ma’aad (4/261):

The verse indicates that it is haraam to have intercourse with her in her back passage for two reasons. The first is that it is permitted to have intercourse with her in the tilth, which is the place of birth, and not in the anus which is the place of filth. The place of tilth is what is referred to in the verse “then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you”. [al-Baqarah 2:222].

The second reason is that Allaah says “when or how you will” i.e., however you wish, from the front or from the back. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “go to your tilth” means the vagina. End quote.

Thirdly:

Perhaps the question is also referring to what al-Bukhaari narrated from Naafi’ from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him): “so go to your tilth when or how you will”; he said: “He may approach her from …”

Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari (8/189):

This is how it appears in all the texts. It does not mention what comes after the word “from”. End quote.

And he quoted what is mentioned in some reports elsewhere than in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, that Ibn ‘Umar said: He may approach her in her back passage.

But the scholars answered that in two ways:

1 – That it was a mistake on the part of some of those who narrated it from Ibn ‘Umar, and they understood from it that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, when in fact he was narrating that it is permissible to have intercourse with one's wife in her vagina from behind, based on what is mentioned in saheeh reports from him that he regarded it as haraam to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. And al-Nasaa’i narrated in al-Sunan al-Kubra (5/315) with a saheeh isnaad that Ibn ‘Umar was asked about that and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan (2/146):

It is narrated in a saheeh report that he interpreted the verse as referring to intercourse in the vagina coming from the back, which is what was narrated from Naafi’. Those who thought that Naafi’ improved of intercourse in the back passage are gravely mistaken; rather what he meant was having intercourse from the back in the vagina. Thus they were confused when they thought that when he said “from the back” he meant the back passage; but what he meant by that was coming from the back but putting it in the place of intercourse, namely the vagina. Those people were confused when they understood the words of Naafi’ “from the back” as meaning “in the back (passage)”. End quote.

The second answer is:

That this was ijtihaad on the part of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) about the meaning of the verse. The Sunnah and the views of all the Sahaabah indicate that it was an incorrect ijtihaad. Abu Dawood (2164) narrated, in a report that was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, that Ibn ‘Abbaas said:

Ibn ‘Umar – may Allaah forgive him – imagined, and this was a tribe of the Ansaar who had been idol-worshippers, along with this tribe of the Jews, who were people of the Book, and thought that they (the Jews) were superior to them in knowledge; they used to follow their examples in many of their deeds.. The people of the Book did not have intercourse with their wives except on their sides, and that was most concealing for the woman. This tribe of the Ansaar had adopted that from them. And this tribe of Quraysh used to make the woman lie in whatever position they wanted and enjoy them in various ways. When the Muhaajiroon came to Madeenah, one of their men married a woman of the Ansaar, and he went to do that with her but she objected and said: We have intercourse lying on our sides, so do that or keep away from me. Their problem got worse until news of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]., i.e., from the front or the back or lying, meaning the place of birth.

This could support the reports that Ibn ‘Umar used to say that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, but then perhaps he came back to the correct view, after Ibn ‘Abbaas or someone else explained to him the reason why this verse was revealed and what its correct meaning was. Hence it is proven – as stated above – that he said that it was haraam, and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

To conclude: Islam forbids this action, and there is nothing to indicate that it is permissible. The one who thinks that there is anything in the Qur’aan and Sunnah to indicate that is mistaken.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/91968/anus

What constitutes intercourse?

What is meant by intercourse? Is any kind of foreplay regarded as intercourse?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Not all kinds of foreplay are regarded as intercourse; rather intercourse is when the tip of the penis disappears fully into the vagina. If that happens, then intercourse has taken place; if no penetration occurs or if only part of the tip penetrates but not all of it, then this is not intercourse. This is what is indicated by the ahaadeeth:

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and has intercourse with her, then ghusl is obligatory.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 291; Muslim, 525.

The phrase translated as “[has intercourse with her]” is a metaphor for inserting the penis into the vagina. This was stated by al-Haafiz in al-Fath.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and the one circumcised part touches the other, then ghusl is obligatory.” Narrated by Muslim, 349.

Al-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim:

With regard to the phrase “and the one circumcised part touches the other, then ghusl is obligatory”: the scholars said: what this means is when your penis disappears into her vagina; it does not mean touching in a real sense. That is because the circumcised part of a woman is above the vagina, and the penis does not touch it during intercourse. The scholars are unanimously agreed that if he places his penis on the circumcised part and does not enter (the vagina), then no ghusl is required, neither for him nor for her.

The fact that what is meant is what we have mentioned and that what is meant by touching is the two parts coming in line with one another is indicated by the other report, “when the two circumcised parts meet” i.e., coming in line with one another.

It says in al-Majmoo’ (2/150):

The obligation of ghusl and all other rulings that have to do with intercourse are subject to the condition that the tip of the penis disappears completely into the vagina, and they are not dependent on more than that. None of the rulings have to with part of the tip disappearing only. End quote.

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:

What is meant by touching and meeting is coming in line with one another, which is indicated by a report narrated by al-Tirmidhi. It does not mean touching in a literal sense, because that does not happen when the tip of the penis disappears. End quote.

Al-Shawkaani said: The ahaadeeth mention the words coming in line with one another, meeting, touching, but what is meant by meeting is coming in line with one another.

Al-Qaadi Abu Bakr said: If the tip of the penis disappears into the vagina, then ‘meeting’ has taken place. End quote.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It is well known that the site of circumcision is above the tip. As that is the case, then it cannot touch the site of circumcision of the woman until the tip has penetrated. Hence it is stipulated that for ghusl following intercourse to be obligatory, the tip must disappear. It is narrated in some versions of the hadeeth of ‘Abd-‘Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas: “When the two circumcised parts meet and the tip of the penis disappears, then ghusl becomes obligatory.” End quote. Narrate by Ibn Maajah, 611; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/323

Based on this, what is meant by the one circumcised part touching the other and the meeting of the two circumcised parts is when the site of circumcision of the man comes into line with the site of circumcision of the woman, and that happens when the entire tip of the penis disappears into the vagina. If the tip of the penis disappears into the vagina then intercourse has taken place and ghusl is required.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

Foreplay with wife using finger

Is it permissable for the husband to insert his finger into his wife's vagina and to fondle it during intercourse. Praise be to Allaah.

I do not see any reason not to do that, so long as it is done with the left hand.

Shaykh ‘Abd al-Kareem al-Khudayr.
Islam QA
For the original link go to
http://islamqa.com/en/ref/21676/finger

An orgasm without intercourse

If a female has an orgasm without intercourse, is she required to perform ghusl before she can say her prayers?

Praise be to Allaah.

If maniy (fluid emitted at the point of climax) comes out of a woman without intercourse, she has to do ghusl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they notice water (fluid), as was reported by Maalik in al-Muwatta’ (1/51), and by al-Bukhaari (282) and al-Nasaa’i (1/114) from Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: Umm Sulaim, the wife of Abu Talhah, came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has an (erotic) dream?” He said, “Yes, if she sees water (fluid).” In this hadeeth, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they see water, i.e., maniy.

Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): Ghusl for janaabah (impurity following sexual activity) is waajib (obligatory) if either of the following applies: either the tip of the penis penetrates the vagina, or the gushing liquid is emitted by the man or the woman… The scholars said that ghusl does not become obligatory unless one is sure that what one feels of wetness comes from the gushing liquid.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (1/200): The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected doing ghusl to seeing (the fluid) when he said: “If you see the water and if the water gushed out , then do ghusl.” The ruling does not apply otherwise.

Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (1/389): This indicates that ghusl is obligatory for women, if they emit fluid at the point of climax.

Ibn Rajab said in al-Fath (1/338): This hadeeth indicates that if a woman sees an (erotic) dream and notices the fluid when she wakes up, she has to do ghusl. This was the view of the majority of scholars and no dissenting view is known except for that of al-Nakha’i, who is the odd one out.

This hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) makes the matter quite clear, which is that if any fluid is emitted by the woman – whether it is a little or a lot – then she has to do ghusl.

On the basis of the above, if a woman feels that some fluid has come out of her vagina, even if it is only a little, then she has to do ghusl, because of the report to that effect. It is not sufficient for her to do wudoo’ in this case unless the fluid which was emitted was not the kind of fluid for which ghusl is required, such as madhiy (lubricating secretion) etc., in which case wudoo’ is sufficient. And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Breastfeeding and the wisdom behind it

Is providing breast milk (mother/wetnurse) to an infant too young to live on solid foods a required duty?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, if the infant needs to be breastfed then breast milk must be provided for him.

It says in al-Mawsoo’ah al-Fiqhiyyah (22/239): There is no difference of opinion among the fuqaha’ that it is obligatory to breastfeed an infant so long as he needs that and he is at the age for breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is a proven right of the infant, according to the rulings of sharee’ah, and must be provided for him by the one whose duty it is to do so. The fuqaha’ clearly stated that breastfeeding is the right of the child.

They explained the reason for that as being that breastfeeding for an infant is like maintenance for an adult.

What they said is true and is indicated by the Qur’aan. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“but the father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis”

[al-Baqarah 2:233]

Allaah has enjoined upon the father to spend on the woman who nurses his child, because nutrition reaches the child via the nurse through the breast milk. So spending on the nurse is in fact spending on him. It says in Sharh Muntaha al-Iraadaat: The one who is obliged to spend on the infant, whether male or female, is obliged to spend on the child’s nurse, because the child is nourished by the milk produced by the nurse, and that can only happen if she is nourished. So it is obligatory to spend on the nurse because this is in fact spending on the child.

Al-Mufassal fi Ahkaam al-Mar’ah, 9/464.

The scholars are unanimously agreed on the effects of breastfeeding in establishing the prohibition on marriage and on making the child the mahram of the woman who breastfeeds him, and making it permissible to look at her and be alone with her, but it does not make it obligatory to spend on the person, or make him an heir or a guardian in cases of marriage.

The reason for this mahram relationship is obvious, because when the infant is nourished by the milk of this woman, his flesh grows on that, so it is as if he is her own child.

Hence the scholars regarded it as makrooh to appoint a kaafir woman or an immoral woman as a wet-nurse, or a woman who was suffering from a contagious disease, because it may pass to the child.

They regarded it as mustahabb to choose a wet-nurse who was of good character and morals, because breastfeeding changes the child’s nature.

It is better if no one breastfeeds the child but his mother, because that is more beneficial, and that may be obligatory for her if the child will not accept the breast of anyone else.

Doctors encourage giving the mother’s milk, especially in the early months.

The wisdom of Allaah in creating the nourishment of the child in his mother’s milk has been proven through scientific and medical research.

Medical benefits of breastfeeding:

Breastfeeding brings great benefits. Allaah has enjoined breastfeeding in His Book, when He said (interpretation of the meaning):

“The mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, (that is) for those (parents) who desire to complete the term of suckling”

[al-Baqarah 2:233]

So Allaah has stated the child’s right to be breastfed.

Fourteen hundred years after this verse was revealed, international organizations such as the World Health Organization have issued statement after statement calling on mothers to breastfeed their children, whereas Islam enjoined that fourteen centuries ago.

The benefits of breastfeeding for the child include the following:

1 – The mother’s milk is sterile, containing no germs.

2 – The mother’s milk cannot be imitated by any milk prepared from the milk of cows, goats or camels. It is composed in such a way as to meet the child’s needs day after day, from birth until weaning.

3 – The mother’s milk contains sufficient amounts of protein and sugar that suit the infant completely, whereas the proteins in cow’s, goat’s and buffalo’s milk are difficult for the child’s stomach to digest, because they are suited to the offspring of those animals.

4 – The development of children who are breastfed is faster and more complete than that of children who are bottle-fed.

5 – The psychological and emotional bond between the mother and her child.

6 – The mother’s milk contains various elements that are essential to the child’s nourishment, in the right amounts and formats needed by his body, and in a form that is suited to his ability to digest and absorb. The nourishing content of the milk is not fixed; it changes day by day according to the child’s needs.

7 – The mother’s milk is kept at a suitable temperature that meets the child’s needs, and can be given to him at any time.

8 – Breastfeeding is a natural means of contraception for the mother, and is free of the complications that may accompany use of birth control pills, the coil (IUD) or injections.

From Tawdeeh al-Ahkaam, 5/107.
Islam Q&A

Working with Gay

ASsalaamu Alaikum,
i am recently working for a computer company and i found out that my boss (who is a kaffir) is a gay. i have heard this from one of the other co-workers. until now, i thought he was a normal person but he never bother me. is it allowed for a muslim to work for such a people?

Praise be to Allaah.

If your work is permitted (according to Islam), then it permissible for you to continue working for this person, as long as you are careful to watch how he behaves. If you can call him to Islam, and explain to him in a wise and appropriate manner the ruling concerning this evil deed that he is committing (if you are sure that this is indeed the case), then you will have a great reward from Allaah. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Etiquette of having sex

Islam teaches us everthing..as to how to eat , dress, etc...is there also a Sunnah way of sleeping with one's wife.is any position Sunnah ..or is there nothing in Saheeh Hadith with regard to this?Praise be to Allaah.
Yes, you are right: Islam teaches us all things and has brought all good teaching to mankind concerning their livelihood, religion, living and dying, because it is the religion of Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted.

Sexual relations are among the important matters of life which Islam came to explain and to prescribe proper conduct and rulings which elevate it from the level of mere bestial pleasure and physical desire. Islam connects it to a righteous intention, supplications (adhkaar) and proper conduct which lift it up to the level of worship for which the Muslim will be rewarded. The Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) explains this. Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) says in his book Zaad al-Ma’aad:

“Concerning sexual relations, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) brought the most perfect guidance, whereby health may be preserved and people may find pleasure and enjoyment, and it may fulfil the purpose for which it was created, because sex was created for three basic purposes:

The preservation and propagation of the human race, until they reach the number of souls that Allaah has decreed should be created in this world.

Expulsion of the water (semen) which may cause harm to the body if it is retained.

Fulfilling physical desires and enjoying physical pleasure. This alone is the feature that will be present in Paradise, because there will be no producing of offspring there, and no retention which needs to be relieved by ejaculation.

The best doctors suggest that sex is one of the means of maintaining good health.

(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, p. 249).

And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Among its benefits is that it helps to lower the gaze, brings self-control, enables one to keep away from haraam things, and achieves all of these things for the woman too. It brings benefit to a man with regard to this world and the Hereafter, and benefits the woman too. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to enjoy regular intimate relations with his wives, and he said, “In your world, women and perfume have been made dear to me.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 3/128; al-Nasaa’i, 7/61; classed as saheeh by al-Haakim).

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it helps him to lower his gaze and protect his chastity. And whoever cannot do that, let him fast, for it will be a protection for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/92; Muslim, 1400).

(al-Tibb al-Nabawi, 251).

Among the important matters which should be paid attention to when engaging in intimate relations:

Having the sincere intention of doing this thing only for the sake of Allaah. One should intend to do this to protect oneself and one's wife from doing haraam things, to increase the numbers of the Muslim ummah so as to raise its status, for there is honour and pride in large numbers. It should be known that one will be rewarded for this action, even if he finds immediate pleasure and enjoyment in it. It was reported from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “In the sexual intercourse of any one of you there is reward” (meaning, when he has intercourse with his wife). They said, O Mesenger of Allaah, when any one of us fulfils his desire, will he have a reward for that? He (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do you not see that if he were to do it in a haraam manner, he would be punished for that? So if he does it in a halaal manner, he will be rewarded.” (Narrated by Muslim, 720).

This is the great bounty of Allaah towards this Ummah; praise be to Allaah Who has made us among them.

Intercourse should be preceded by kind words, playfulness and kisses. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to play with his wives and kiss them.

When a man has intercourse with his wife, he should say: “Bismillaah, Allaahumma jannibnaa al-shaytaan wa jannib al-shaytaan maa razqtanaa (In the name of Allaah, O Allaah Keep us away from the Shaytaan and keep the Shaytaan away from what You bestow on us (our children)).” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: If Allaah decrees that they should have a child, the Shaytaan will never harm him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/187)

It is permissible for the husband to have intercourse with his wife in her vagina in whatever manner he wishes, from behind or from the front, on the condition that it is in her vagina, which is the place from which a child is born. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if a man had intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child would have a squint. Then this aayah was revealed: Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “From the front or from the back, so long as it is in the vagina.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 8/154; Muslim, 4/156).

It is not permissible for the husband under any circumstances whatsoever to have intercourse with his wife in her back passage. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. It is known that the place of tilth is the vagina, which is the place from which one hopes for a child. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is cursed who has intercourse with women in their back passages.” (Narrated by Ibn ‘Udayy, 1/211; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 105). This is because it [anal intercourse] goes against the fitrah [natural inclinations of man] and is an action which is revolting to those of a sound human nature; it also causes the woman to miss out on her share of pleasure; and the back passage is a place of filth and dirt – and there are other reasons which confirm the fact that this deed is haraam. For more information see Question #1103.

If a man has intercourse with his wife and wants to come back to her a second time, he should do wudoo’, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “If any one of you has intercourse with his wife then wants to repeat it, let him do wudoo’ between the two (actions), for it is more energizing for the second time.” (Narrated by Muslim, 1/171). This is mustahabb (recommended), not waajib (obligatory); if he is able to do ghusl between the two actions, this is better, because of the hadeeth of Abu Raafi’ who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went around his wives one day and did ghusl in this one’s house and in this one’s house. He (Abu Raafi’) said: I said to him, O Messenger of Allaah, why do you not do one ghusl? He said, “This is cleaner and better and purer.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood and al-Nasaa’i, 1/79)

One or both of the spouses have to do ghusl in the following situations:

when the “two circumcised parts” meet, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When the circumcised part meets the circumcised part (according to another report: when the circumcised part touches the circumcised part), ghusl becomes waajib (obligatory).” (Narrated by Ahmad and Muslim, no. 526). This ghusl is obligatory whether ejaculation takes place or not. The touching of the circumcised parts means that the glans or tip of the penis penetrates the vagina; it does not mean mere touching.

Emission of semen, even if the two circumcised parts do not touch, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Water is for water [i.e., the water of ghusl is necessary when the “water” of semen is ejaculated].” (Narrated by Muslim, no. 1/269).

Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): “Ghusl for janaabah [impurity following sexual discharge] is waajib in either of two cases: when the tip of the penis enters the vagina, or when gushing water is emitted by either the man or the woman.” For more information on the details of ghusl as prescribed in sharee’ah, see Question # 415. It is permissible for the husband and wife to do ghusl together in one place, even if he sees her and she sees him, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl together from one vessel between me and him; we would take turns dipping our hands in the vessel and he would take more than me until I would say, ‘Leave some for me, leave some for me.’” She said, and they were both junub (in a state of janaabah). Narrated by al-Bukhaari and Muslim.

It is permissible for a person who has to make ghusl to sleep and delay the ghusl until before the time of prayer, but it is definitely mustahabb for him to do wudoo’ before sleeping, because of the hadeeth of ‘Umar, who said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), Can any one of us sleep when he is junub? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes, but let him do wudoo’ if he wishes.” (Narrated by Ibn Hibbaan, 232).

It is forbidden to have intercourse with a woman when she is menstruating (having her period), because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an adhaa (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have prufieied themselves, then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina). Truly, Allaah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify themselves (by taking a bath and cleaning and washing thoroughly their private parts, bodies, for their prayers, etc.).” [al-Baqarah 2:222]. The person who has intercourse with his wife whilst she is menstruating has to give a dinar or half a dinar in charity, as it was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) obliged a man to do when he came and asked him about that. This was reported by the authors of al-Sunan and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 122. But it is permissible for the husband to enjoy his menstruating wife without having intercourse, because of the hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) would tell one of us, when she was menstruating, to wear a waist-wrapper, then her husband would lie with her.” (Agreed upon).

It is permissible for the husband to withdraw (‘azl) if he does not want to have a child; by the same token it is permissible for him to use condoms – if his wife gives her permission, because she has the right to pleasure and to children. The evidence for this is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said, “We used to do ‘azl at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard about that, and he did not forbid us.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 9/250; Muslim, 4/160).

But it is better not to do any of that, for several reasons, including the fact that it deprives the woman of pleasure or reduces the pleasure for her; and that it cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to increase the number of offspring, as mentioned above.

It is forbidden for both spouses to spread the secrets of what happens between them in their private marital life; indeed, this is one of the most evil things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Among the most evil of people before Allaah on the Day of Resurrection will be a man who comes to his wife and has intercourse with her, then he spreads her secrets.” (Narrated by Muslim, 4/157).

It was reported from Asmaa’ bint Yazeed that she was with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and men and women were sitting with him, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Would any man say what he did with his wife? Would any woman tell others what she did with her husband?” The people kept quiet and did not answer. I [Asmaa’] said: “Yes, by Allaah, O Messenger of Allaah, they (women) do that, and they (men) do that.” He said, “Do not do that. It is like a male devil meeting a female devil in the road and having intercourse with her whilst the people are watching.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 1/339; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Adaab al-Zafaaf, p. 143).

This is what we were able to mention about the etiquette of sexual relations. Praise be to Allaah Who has guided us to this great religion with its sublime manners. Praise be to Allaah Who has shown us the best of this world and the next. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Using a machine that leads to orgasm

I have an embarrassing question, but need to know. If a woman uses a massager on her vagina, is this considered masturbation. What is the ruling concerning using this if the woman is under alot of stress and sees good-looking men at work but her husband is living in another country?
Praise be to Allaah.
You have to keep away from everything that leads to a provocation of desire, for these means will no doubt ultimately lead you to fall into doing the “secret habit”, which is haraam. What counts is doing that which leads to a climax, whether that is done directly by the hand or by using a machine whose vibrations lead to a climax. So strive against yourself (jihaad al-nafs) and do not do that. You must keep away from and avoid places where you may mix with men, because that is haraam according to sharee’ah, because the Shaytaan will make you commit evil actions so long as you meet with them every day, especially since your husband is absent. You have to get in touch with your husband and tell him that he has to be there so that you will not end up doing something haraam. And Allaah knows best.Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Enlarging the Penis

I feel very embarrassed to ask this question. But there should not be shyness in Islam. There is a religious God-fearing sister I know who is married and has children. This sister says that she does not enjoy the intimate relationship sometimes with her husband, because he has a small penis. She asks: Is it permissible to ask her husband to use some medication or machine to enlarge the size of his penis? She saw some advertisements in pharmacies and on the internet about this matter. Should she ask him to use an artificial penis on his penis so that she enjoys, then take it out for him to enjoy as well?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

There is nothing wrong with the husband referred to here consulting doctors for a prescription that will enlarge his penis, so long as there are no harmful side effects.

There is nothing wrong with him using something that is placed over his penis, such as a condom and the like, if that will make his wife’s pleasure more complete, because the basic principle is that it is permissible and the husband is required to treat his wife well, which includes keeping his wife chaste and fulfilling her desires, and removing any obstacles that might prevent that.

Secondly:

Your saying “There is no shyness in religion” is not appropriate. It would be better for you to say that Allaah is not shy to speak the truth.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in one of his answers: As for you saying “There is no shyness in religion,” it is better to say that Allaah is not shy to speak the truth, as Umm Sulaym (may Allaah have mercy on her) said: “O Messenger of Allaah, Allaah is not shy to speak the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has a wet dream?” As for saying “there is no shyness in religion”, this is based on a misunderstanding of the proper meaning. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Shyness is part of faith.” So shyness in religion is part of faith, but when someone says “There is no shyness in religion,” what he means is that there is no shyness in matters of religion, i.e., in asking about something concerning which one may feel shy. If this is what is meant, then it is better to say that Allaah is not shy to speak the truth. Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri (37/25)

And Allaah knows best.