Kissing wife in the street in front of people

I am in alot of trouble. I can not ask local Iman because he is not good in his knowledge and i am embarassed to ask friends or family. You see, the problem is I got married recently and I think i might of committed zina with my wife. This is how, we were driving my sisters car and me and wife stopped the car in a quiet place and we kissed alot, quite alot. a man walked passed and he saw us, but we did not stop. i feel i have committed open zina. do we need to pay kafarah, or confess to our elders. my second very very important question is after kissing, i let out (we were both wearing clothes all the time mufti saab) sperm in my underwear. Now i feel very bad because this is my sisters car and she has been driving it after me. i can not wash the car seat as she will get suspicious and confront me. i do not want to lie, now she sits in the car sits on the floor to eat dinner, sits on the sofa, her and her children and i feel very very bad as to what to do. is the car and sofa and place were we sit not clean anymore, and my wife and i are arguing she blames me for worrying. i think she is a bad muslim, because she does not fear Allah, becuase she made me stop the car and kiss, i hate her for that. dear sir, i await your reply as i am disturbed by what has happened, i like to keep paak and clean at all times to please Allah.

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

Please note that you will never be able to live your life without sins and mistakes. This is the nature of man. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2499; Ibn Maajah, 4251; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi. This hadeeth clearly indicates that man will inevitably commit sin, but what matters after that is what he does about his sin. The believer repents to Allaah from all his sins, gives them up and asks Allaah for forgiveness every time he commits a sin, and he regrets doing it and resolves sincerely not to do it again. If you do that, then understand that Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful; He forgives all sins for the righteous believer who repents sincerely and admits his sin humbly before Allaah. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53]

The sin that you have admitted to is not zina with your wife! Rather it is kissing her in front of other people, because there is no zina with one's wife, rather zina is done with a woman whom it is not permissible for a man to touch. But in the case of a wife, it is permissible to touch her.

It is not permissible for a man or a woman to speak to anyone else of what happens between them in bed which no one else should see but them, because of the evils and temptations that result from that and because it opens the door to the shaytaan. This has to do with one who speaks about what he did with his wife, so how about one who does things in front of people where they can see him!

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in his Fataawa (10/277) that kissing one’s wife in front of people is not permissible.

Secondly:

As for the expiation for this sin, there is no expiation except sincere repentance and firm resolve not to do it again, and true regret for having committed this sin.

As for confessing to your parents, there is no need for that. The sin that you have admitted to is a sin against Allaah, so confession should be made to Allaah. It is between you and Allaah and you should not tell anyone about it, but be sincere in your repentance to Allaah and Allaah will forgive you. Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

The fact that your wife is the one who told you to do this deed does not mean that she is not a righteous woman or that she does not fear Allaah. You also agreed with her to do it, and you did not stop even when that man saw you. So you should also shoulder your share of responsibility for what you did.

May Allaah help you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

Breastfeeding

The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms…If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (her) what ye offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do." (2:233)
Given the importance of breastfeeding in the Islamic religion, the low rates of compliance among Muslim women in North America are puzzling. Although a formal research study has not been conducted, it seems upon observation that the breastfeeding rate among Muslim women is actually lower than among the population at large. There are small pockets of "fundamentalist" Muslim women who are well educated and adamant about nursing their children under their chadors, and who often practice natural childbirth and home schooling. However, those mothers who nurse their babies past the age of one year are the exception rather than the rule. There seems to be a lighthearted attitude among the general Muslim populace towards the bottle-feeding of infants. It is not frowned upon, and it is rarely something people even question. Perhaps it is a lack of education about the benefits of breastfeeding, combined with an absence of a support network to assist the new mother. Perhaps it is a misunderstanding of the meaning of weaning.
Understood in the general sense, weaning means the gradual transfer from feeding the baby exclusively breast-milk to table foods only. This can happen sometime during the toddler period of life, usually between the ages of 1 and 3. Transferring the child to animal and vegetable foods before he even had any teeth, was not done by the early Muslims. The most likely option, if a mother declined to breastfeed her infant, was the employment of a wet-nurse for the child. For the newborn Muslim child, the intimate breastfeeding relationship is a right. It is beyond dispute that two full years of breast-milk provide a baby with long-term health benefits such as the prevention of ear infections and allergies, as well as providing a foundation of trust between mother and child. It has been proven that a bottle-fed baby will be a weaker child, and that breastfed babies often have higher IQ's and are more emotionally well adjusted.

In Islamic terms, weaning is a process that is administered by mutual consent, with the full intention of both parents who have decided that this is the best thing for the family. But in my conversations with sisters in various states who had given up nursing in favor of bottle-feeding, the sense is a feeling of powerlessness over the situation. These mothers often wanted very much to nurse their child. But somehow, they lost their chance. This tragedy is largely caused by a hospital system that does little to promote exclusive breastfeeding of newborns. In most hospitals, the new mothers receive free samples of formula to take home. This is a result of multi-million dollar deals between hospitals and pharmaceutical companies who pay the doctors to promote their products. This practice is highly unethical because little or no education about the dangers of bottle-feeding the infant is given to the new mothers. Many Muslim mothers, especially those who don't speak English well and therefore are not able to question the nurses, come home with their babies already addicted to the bottle. Although at this point, all is not yet beyond hope, coaxing a newborn child to breastfeed, after he has been bottle-fed even just once or twice, can be a big struggle. It may not succeed without the aid of a lactation counselor, because unfortunately, even the older generation of mothers and mothers-in-law lack the knowledge of how to breastfeed. Thus, the likelihood of bottle-feeding is very high among immigrant and minority women in the U.S.

So many women have given up nursing out of a feeling of powerlessness to get the baby to nurse. Because this is not a decision to wean, but rather the result of lack of adequate help, this situation cannot simply be dismissed under the heading, "there is no blame." Something is terribly wrong when Muslim women are giving up breastfeeding due to lack of education, counseling, and support. It reveals a stripping away at the postnatal rights of the Muslim woman to be in a state of rest for 40 days after childbirth. It also points to a fundamental lack of self-esteem in the mothers, that already at the age of 4 days old, she is allowing the child to make important decisions that will hurt him, rather than taking command of the situation and turning it around. If the child is rejecting the breast, the most common reaction is to try for a while, and then give up and give him a bottle. This teaches him that all he has to do is fuss and refuse to nurse, and he will be rewarded by a free-flowing bottle of formula. The only solution to this power struggle is for the mother to practice a bit of "tough love," to refuse to give the baby a bottle, even if it takes several hours for the baby to nurse willingly. (If the baby gets dehydrated, he can take water with a cup or medicine dropper). All this requires the support and help of the father and other family members, to allow the mother and child to be together undisturbed as much as possible for the first 40 days of the baby's life.

Many Muslim women manage to make it through those hardest days in the beginning and then give up breastfeeding after the baby is less than 6 months old. The most common reason given is, "I was afraid I wasn't producing enough milk." At this point, a lactation advisor could have told her to increase her own consumption of calories and to get adequate rest. Under no circumstances should she give the baby a bottle because this will only decrease her supply of breast-milk. But it is so rare for Muslim women to seek advice further than their doctors, who often do not give adequate help. Sometimes it is actually the doctor's advice to start feeding their babies solids at age 3 months that leads to problems. Only with independent research will a mother be able to compare the "fun" of spoon-feeding her infant versus the risks of premature rejection of the breast.

How can we help the Muslim women of today to understand that Allah has made her able to feed her baby with the milk of her body? She needs to read books about breastfeeding and understand fully the commitment she is facing. She needs encouragement to seek help from a LaLeche League Leader or midwife if she runs into problems getting help from her doctor. Help is available. Women who receive adequate counseling are often able to sustain nursing even after returning to work outside the home. Premature infants can and should be breastfeed for the best odds in life. In fact, women who have never even been pregnant can actually stimulate the production of breast-milk for a foster child through the use of a special infant feeding device. The ability to feed your child the best that nature has to offer is your choice. Only after a successful and long-lasting breastfeeding relationship can weaning the baby truly be done by mutual and conscious consent. It will not simply be a tragic mistake to look back on with regret.

By Maria Hussain( a freelance writer from New Jersey )

When is anal intercourse permissable?

Please help me for finding the truth.In Bukhari sharif hadesh no-4170 & 4171,said that anal sex is halal/jayaj.But you said (in mail a & q)that its haram.Now i'm confusied.
I want to know what's the truth?Is anal sex haram or not?please response my quetion
Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

There are many saheeh ahaadeeth which show that anal intercourse is haraam, such as the following:

1 – It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who has intercourse with his wife in her back passage has disavowed himself of that which was revealed to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” Narrated by Abu Dawood (3904); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.

2 – It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah will not look at a man who has intercourse with a woman in her back passage.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1165); classed as saheeh by Ibn Daqeeq al-‘Eid in al-Ilmaam (2/660) and by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

3 – It was narrated that Khuzaymah ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth” three times. “Do not have intercourse with women in their back passages.” Narrated by Ibn Maajah (1924); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

And there are many similar ahaadeeth. Al-Tahhaawi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Sharh Ma’aani al-Athaar (3/43): The reports concerning that reach the level of tawaatur. End quote.

Hence the views of the scholars are based on these ahaadeeth.

Al-Maawardi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in al-Haawi (9/319):

Because that is the consensus of the Sahaabah. It was narrated from ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Ibn Mas’ood and Abu’l-Darda’. End quote.

It says in al-Mughni (7/32):

It is not permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage according to the majority of scholars, including ‘Ali, ‘Abd-Allaah, Abu’l-Darda’, Ibn ‘Abbaas, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr and Abu Hurayrah. This was also the view of Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyab, Abu Bakr ibn ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, Mujaahid, ‘Ikrimah, al-Shaafa’i, ashaab al-ra’y and Ibn al-Mundhir.

We have discussed this in some detail previously on this site; please see the answers to questions no. 1103 and 52803.

Secondly:

Some people imagine that it is permissible to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. They understand from the verse (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] that Allaah has permitted everything in this verse, even intercourse in the back passage. This misinterpretation is reinforced for them when they read the hadeeth narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh – and perhaps this is the hadeeth referred to by the questioner – in which it says: It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Jews used to say that if (the man) had intercourse from behind, the child would be born with a squint. Then the verse “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223] was revealed.

But this is a misunderstanding of the verse. Allaah says “so go to your tilth when or how you will” which means that all variations of intercourse are permitted, so long as it is in the place of tilth, i.e., the vagina, not the back passage. So it is permissible for a man to have intercourse with his wife from behind or from in front or lying on their sides so long as it is in the place of tilth and not the back passage.

The evidence for that is Muslim’s report (1435) of the hadeeth of Jaabir quoted above about the reason for the revelation of this verse, in which it says: If he wishes, when she is lying on her front and if he wishes when she is not lying on her front, so long as that is in only one opening.

In Abu Dawood’s report of the same hadeeth (2163) it says: It was narrated that Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir said: I heard Jaabir say: The Jews say that if a man has intercourse with his wife in her vagina from behind, the child will have a squint. Then Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223].

In Sunan al-Tirmidhi (2980) in a report which he classed as hasan, it was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: ‘Umar came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, I am doomed! He said: “Why are you doomed?” He said: I changed my direction last night. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not say anything. Then this verse was revealed to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. So approach from the front or the back, but avoid the back passage and the time of menses. Classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.

These ahaadeeth and reports explain what is meant by the verse. So it is not permissible for the Muslim to go beyond that and understand it in ways that are not indicated by the reports or by linguistic usage.

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Zaad al-Ma’aad (4/261):

The verse indicates that it is haraam to have intercourse with her in her back passage for two reasons. The first is that it is permitted to have intercourse with her in the tilth, which is the place of birth, and not in the anus which is the place of filth. The place of tilth is what is referred to in the verse “then go in unto them as Allaah has ordained for you”. [al-Baqarah 2:222].

The second reason is that Allaah says “when or how you will” i.e., however you wish, from the front or from the back. Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “go to your tilth” means the vagina. End quote.

Thirdly:

Perhaps the question is also referring to what al-Bukhaari narrated from Naafi’ from Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him): “so go to your tilth when or how you will”; he said: “He may approach her from …”

Ibn Hajar said in Fath al-Baari (8/189):

This is how it appears in all the texts. It does not mention what comes after the word “from”. End quote.

And he quoted what is mentioned in some reports elsewhere than in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, that Ibn ‘Umar said: He may approach her in her back passage.

But the scholars answered that in two ways:

1 – That it was a mistake on the part of some of those who narrated it from Ibn ‘Umar, and they understood from it that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, when in fact he was narrating that it is permissible to have intercourse with one's wife in her vagina from behind, based on what is mentioned in saheeh reports from him that he regarded it as haraam to have intercourse with one’s wife in her back passage. And al-Nasaa’i narrated in al-Sunan al-Kubra (5/315) with a saheeh isnaad that Ibn ‘Umar was asked about that and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Tahdheeb al-Sunan (2/146):

It is narrated in a saheeh report that he interpreted the verse as referring to intercourse in the vagina coming from the back, which is what was narrated from Naafi’. Those who thought that Naafi’ improved of intercourse in the back passage are gravely mistaken; rather what he meant was having intercourse from the back in the vagina. Thus they were confused when they thought that when he said “from the back” he meant the back passage; but what he meant by that was coming from the back but putting it in the place of intercourse, namely the vagina. Those people were confused when they understood the words of Naafi’ “from the back” as meaning “in the back (passage)”. End quote.

The second answer is:

That this was ijtihaad on the part of Ibn ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) about the meaning of the verse. The Sunnah and the views of all the Sahaabah indicate that it was an incorrect ijtihaad. Abu Dawood (2164) narrated, in a report that was classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, that Ibn ‘Abbaas said:

Ibn ‘Umar – may Allaah forgive him – imagined, and this was a tribe of the Ansaar who had been idol-worshippers, along with this tribe of the Jews, who were people of the Book, and thought that they (the Jews) were superior to them in knowledge; they used to follow their examples in many of their deeds.. The people of the Book did not have intercourse with their wives except on their sides, and that was most concealing for the woman. This tribe of the Ansaar had adopted that from them. And this tribe of Quraysh used to make the woman lie in whatever position they wanted and enjoy them in various ways. When the Muhaajiroon came to Madeenah, one of their men married a woman of the Ansaar, and he went to do that with her but she objected and said: We have intercourse lying on our sides, so do that or keep away from me. Their problem got worse until news of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meaning): “Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]., i.e., from the front or the back or lying, meaning the place of birth.

This could support the reports that Ibn ‘Umar used to say that it was permissible to have intercourse in the back passage, but then perhaps he came back to the correct view, after Ibn ‘Abbaas or someone else explained to him the reason why this verse was revealed and what its correct meaning was. Hence it is proven – as stated above – that he said that it was haraam, and he said: Would a Muslim do that?!

To conclude: Islam forbids this action, and there is nothing to indicate that it is permissible. The one who thinks that there is anything in the Qur’aan and Sunnah to indicate that is mistaken.

And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/91968/anus

What constitutes intercourse?

What is meant by intercourse? Is any kind of foreplay regarded as intercourse?.

Praise be to Allaah.

Not all kinds of foreplay are regarded as intercourse; rather intercourse is when the tip of the penis disappears fully into the vagina. If that happens, then intercourse has taken place; if no penetration occurs or if only part of the tip penetrates but not all of it, then this is not intercourse. This is what is indicated by the ahaadeeth:

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and has intercourse with her, then ghusl is obligatory.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 291; Muslim, 525.

The phrase translated as “[has intercourse with her]” is a metaphor for inserting the penis into the vagina. This was stated by al-Haafiz in al-Fath.

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When a man sits between the four parts (arms and legs of his wife) and the one circumcised part touches the other, then ghusl is obligatory.” Narrated by Muslim, 349.

Al-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim:

With regard to the phrase “and the one circumcised part touches the other, then ghusl is obligatory”: the scholars said: what this means is when your penis disappears into her vagina; it does not mean touching in a real sense. That is because the circumcised part of a woman is above the vagina, and the penis does not touch it during intercourse. The scholars are unanimously agreed that if he places his penis on the circumcised part and does not enter (the vagina), then no ghusl is required, neither for him nor for her.

The fact that what is meant is what we have mentioned and that what is meant by touching is the two parts coming in line with one another is indicated by the other report, “when the two circumcised parts meet” i.e., coming in line with one another.

It says in al-Majmoo’ (2/150):

The obligation of ghusl and all other rulings that have to do with intercourse are subject to the condition that the tip of the penis disappears completely into the vagina, and they are not dependent on more than that. None of the rulings have to with part of the tip disappearing only. End quote.

Al-Haafiz said in al-Fath:

What is meant by touching and meeting is coming in line with one another, which is indicated by a report narrated by al-Tirmidhi. It does not mean touching in a literal sense, because that does not happen when the tip of the penis disappears. End quote.

Al-Shawkaani said: The ahaadeeth mention the words coming in line with one another, meeting, touching, but what is meant by meeting is coming in line with one another.

Al-Qaadi Abu Bakr said: If the tip of the penis disappears into the vagina, then ‘meeting’ has taken place. End quote.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

It is well known that the site of circumcision is above the tip. As that is the case, then it cannot touch the site of circumcision of the woman until the tip has penetrated. Hence it is stipulated that for ghusl following intercourse to be obligatory, the tip must disappear. It is narrated in some versions of the hadeeth of ‘Abd-‘Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas: “When the two circumcised parts meet and the tip of the penis disappears, then ghusl becomes obligatory.” End quote. Narrate by Ibn Maajah, 611; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah.

Majmoo’ Fataawa Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, 11/323

Based on this, what is meant by the one circumcised part touching the other and the meeting of the two circumcised parts is when the site of circumcision of the man comes into line with the site of circumcision of the woman, and that happens when the entire tip of the penis disappears into the vagina. If the tip of the penis disappears into the vagina then intercourse has taken place and ghusl is required.

And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A

An orgasm without intercourse

If a female has an orgasm without intercourse, is she required to perform ghusl before she can say her prayers?

Praise be to Allaah.

If maniy (fluid emitted at the point of climax) comes out of a woman without intercourse, she has to do ghusl. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they notice water (fluid), as was reported by Maalik in al-Muwatta’ (1/51), and by al-Bukhaari (282) and al-Nasaa’i (1/114) from Umm Salamah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: Umm Sulaim, the wife of Abu Talhah, came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, Allaah is not too shy to tell the truth. Does a woman have to do ghusl if she has an (erotic) dream?” He said, “Yes, if she sees water (fluid).” In this hadeeth, he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded women to do ghusl if they see water, i.e., maniy.

Al-Baghawi said in Sharh al-Sunnah (2/9): Ghusl for janaabah (impurity following sexual activity) is waajib (obligatory) if either of the following applies: either the tip of the penis penetrates the vagina, or the gushing liquid is emitted by the man or the woman… The scholars said that ghusl does not become obligatory unless one is sure that what one feels of wetness comes from the gushing liquid.

Ibn Qudaamah said in al-Mughni (1/200): The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) connected doing ghusl to seeing (the fluid) when he said: “If you see the water and if the water gushed out , then do ghusl.” The ruling does not apply otherwise.

Ibn Hajar said in al-Fath (1/389): This indicates that ghusl is obligatory for women, if they emit fluid at the point of climax.

Ibn Rajab said in al-Fath (1/338): This hadeeth indicates that if a woman sees an (erotic) dream and notices the fluid when she wakes up, she has to do ghusl. This was the view of the majority of scholars and no dissenting view is known except for that of al-Nakha’i, who is the odd one out.

This hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) makes the matter quite clear, which is that if any fluid is emitted by the woman – whether it is a little or a lot – then she has to do ghusl.

On the basis of the above, if a woman feels that some fluid has come out of her vagina, even if it is only a little, then she has to do ghusl, because of the report to that effect. It is not sufficient for her to do wudoo’ in this case unless the fluid which was emitted was not the kind of fluid for which ghusl is required, such as madhiy (lubricating secretion) etc., in which case wudoo’ is sufficient. And Allaah knows best.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Working with Gay

ASsalaamu Alaikum,
i am recently working for a computer company and i found out that my boss (who is a kaffir) is a gay. i have heard this from one of the other co-workers. until now, i thought he was a normal person but he never bother me. is it allowed for a muslim to work for such a people?

Praise be to Allaah.

If your work is permitted (according to Islam), then it permissible for you to continue working for this person, as long as you are careful to watch how he behaves. If you can call him to Islam, and explain to him in a wise and appropriate manner the ruling concerning this evil deed that he is committing (if you are sure that this is indeed the case), then you will have a great reward from Allaah. And Allaah knows best.

Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Using a machine that leads to orgasm

I have an embarrassing question, but need to know. If a woman uses a massager on her vagina, is this considered masturbation. What is the ruling concerning using this if the woman is under alot of stress and sees good-looking men at work but her husband is living in another country?
Praise be to Allaah.
You have to keep away from everything that leads to a provocation of desire, for these means will no doubt ultimately lead you to fall into doing the “secret habit”, which is haraam. What counts is doing that which leads to a climax, whether that is done directly by the hand or by using a machine whose vibrations lead to a climax. So strive against yourself (jihaad al-nafs) and do not do that. You must keep away from and avoid places where you may mix with men, because that is haraam according to sharee’ah, because the Shaytaan will make you commit evil actions so long as you meet with them every day, especially since your husband is absent. You have to get in touch with your husband and tell him that he has to be there so that you will not end up doing something haraam. And Allaah knows best.Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Intercourse in the anus

Please accept my apology if this questions offends, but in the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, we cannot afford to be shy for fear that if we are not well advised, we may commit a sin.
I have been advised by a friend that there is a "qawl" (opinion) among some ulamaa' (scholars) that it is permissible to conduct anal sex (anal penetration) (between man and wife only) during the time of the wife's haydh (menstruation).
Is this correct?
Please also advise the laws and penalties relevant to it.
Praise be to Allah.

Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee'ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary.

As regards your question, anal intercourse with one's wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: "Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum" (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5865).

The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: "The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad." (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami', 5918).

In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born.
Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah.
It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal.
I ask Allah to bestow upon us a proper understanding of His religion and to make us adhere to its limits, for He is the All-Hearing, the One Who answers prayers.
Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Bathing Naked

Is it permitted to bath naked in islam ?
Praise be to Allaah.

Al-Bukhaari narrated in al-Saheeh that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The Messenger of Allaah SAWS (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Moosa (peace be upon him) was a very shy and modest man, and none of his skin was ever seen because he was so modest. So some of the Children of Israel annoyed him by saying, ‘He is only being so modest because he has some fault in his skin, such as leprosy, scrotal hernia, etc.’ Allaah wanted to demonstrate that he was free of what they were saying about him. One day Moosa went away by himself, put his garment on a rock and washed himself. When he had finished, he went to pick up his garment, and the rock ran away with it. Moosa picked up his stick and ran after the rock, saying, ‘My garment, O rock! My garment, O rock!’ Then he reached a group of the Children of Israel, who saw him naked and that he was the best that Allaah had created and the most free of the faults that they had spoken of. Then the rock stopped, so Moosa took his garment and struck the rock with his stick. By Allaah, there were marks left on the rock by his stick, three or four or five. This is what Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning): ‘O you who believe! Be not like those who annoyed Moosa (Moses), but Allaah cleared him of that which they alleged, and he was honourable before Allaah’ [al-Ahzaab 33:69].”

(Saheeh al-Bukhaari, 3404)

The scholars quoted this hadeeth as evidence that it is permissible to be naked when one is alone, especially if that is for a reason such as taking a bath. Most of the scholars regarded this as being permissible, as al-Haafiz said in al-Fath (1/385). Al-Bukhaari gave this chapter the title “Chapter on one who bathes naked when he is alone, although whoever covers himself, covering is preferable.” The fact that covering oneself is preferable is taken from the hadeeth which was narrated by the authors of Sunan and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi and as saheeh by al-Haakim, from Mu’aawiyah ibn Haydah, who said: “I said, ‘O Prophet of Allaah, when should we cover our ‘awrah and when may we uncover it?’ He said, ‘Protect (cover) your ‘awrah from everyone except your wife and those whom your right hand possesses (concubines).’ I said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, what about when one of us is alone?’ He said, ‘Allaah is more deserving than the people that you should be modest before Him.’”

And Allaah is the Source of strength.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Is it OK to use condoms?

ASSLAMU ALAIKUM. I WANT TO KNOW WHETHER CONDOMS CAN BE USED. OR WHAT IS THE MEANS OF PREVENTING PREGNANCY. WHAT IS THE ADVISABLE MEANS ACCORDING TO ISLAM

Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible to use condoms so long as this does not cause any harm and so long as both husband and wife consent to their use, because this is similar to ‘azl (coitus interruptus or “withdrawal”). But it reduces the sensation of pleasure, which is the right of both partners, and reduces the chance of conception, which is also the right of both partners. Neither one of them is allowed to deprive the other of these rights.Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Using Creams to Enlarge the Breast

I am a young woman who is about to get married, but I suffer from the problem of having a small chest. Is it permissible for me to use creams that help to enlarge the breasts?.

Praise be to Allaah.

If the aim in enlarging the breasts is to increase beauty, that is not permissible, because it is changing the creation of Allaah. If the breasts are so small as to cause you embarrassment and distress, then there is nothing wrong with enlarging them in ways that will not cause you harm, such as using creams and so on.

Treating that with creams is easier than having surgery which involves anaesthesia or uncovering the ‘awrah in the event that there is no specialized female doctor available.

What we have mentioned about differentiating between beautification and removing faults is the general guideline with regard to cosmetic procedures. Please see the answer to question no. 47694.

There follow some of the comments of scholars on this issue:

The scholars of the Standing Committee for Issuing Fatwas were asked:

I am a young man, eighteen years old. Four years ago my breast became prominent and that was accompanied by some pain. After a while, the pain went away, praise be to Allaah, but the prominence remained. This prominence of my breast is obvious even under clothing. I asked the specialist about that and he said that this can easily be removed by means of cosmetic surgery. Is it permissible to have this surgery? Please note that this problem causes me embarrassment in front of other people.

They replied: It is permissible for you to have cosmetic surgery to remove this prominence if it is thought most likely that the surgery will be successful and that the harms will not outweigh or be equal to the benefits.

And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afefi, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood

Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (25/62).

They were also asked (25/59): one of my colleagues had gotten married, praise be to Allaah, but he came to me and said that his wife wants to have cosmetic surgery on her face and breasts, because her nose is large and wide, and she wants to reduce it by means of the easy methods that modern science has developed. Is there any doubt about this surgery or is there any sin involved? Please note that not doing it may lead to psychological distress because this fault appears so prominently on her face.

They replied: If the situation is as described, and there is the hope that the surgery will be successful and will not lead to a greater or equal harm, then it is permissible to do it in order to achieve the desired purpose, otherwise it is not permissible.

And Allaah is the Source of strength. May Allaah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afefi, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Ghadyaan, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Qa’ood

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about some cosmetic procedures such as straightening the nose, liposuction, breast reduction or enhancement, and so on – what is the ruling on these procedures? What are the guidelines, may Allaah bless and reward you and benefit others through you.

He replied: With regard to the beautification that you mentioned, beautification is of two types. The first type is done to remove faults and the second type is done to increase beauty. The first type – removing faults – is permissible; if a person’s nose is bent, it is permissible for him to have surgery to straighten it, because this is removing a fault. The nose is not normal, rather it is bent, so he wants to straighten it. The same applies to a man who has a squint; this is undoubtedly a fault, so if he wants to have surgery to correct the fault, it is permissible and there is no reason why he should not, because this is removing a fault. If a man’s nose is cut off due to an accident, can he have a prosthetic nose installed? An incident of this type occurred at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The nose of one of the Sahaabah was cut off in battle and the man had a nose of silver made, but the silver tarnished and developed an unpleasant smell, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave him permissible to have a nose made of gold, so he did that. Hence we say: is it for beautification or to remove a fault? Removing a fault is permissible. The same applies if the lip is cleft (harelip); it is permissible to join the two sides because this is removing a fault.

With regard to the second type, which is increasing beauty, this is what is not permissible. Hence the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed women who file their teeth for beauty, i.e., they file them and make gaps between them for the purpose of beautification. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed that, and he cursed women who put on hair extensions by adding hair to their short hair and so on.

It remains for us to examine whether an operation to enhance or reduce the breast is permissible or not. This is a kind of beautification, unless the woman who has small breasts wants to increase them so that they can hold more milk, i.e., if her breast is too small and cannot hold enough milk to satisfy for her child. In that case we may say that there is nothing wrong with it. But for the purpose of beautification it is not permissible. This is the guideline with regard to cosmetic surgery. Cosmetic surgery is of two types: the first is removing faults and there is nothing wrong with that; the second is increasing beauty and that is not permissible. End quote from al-Liqa’ al-Shahri (50/8).

And Allaah knows best.



Islam Q&A

Is it permissible to engage in coitus interruptus or to use a condom?

On the first night after getting married, can one use contraception ( e.g condom ) or should this not be allowed. This is because it may be possible (by the will of Allah) for my future wife to get pregnant, but we may not choose to have children so early in our marriage.Please advise.

Praise be to Allaah.

It is permissible to engage in coitus interruptus if a person does not want a child, and it is also permissible to use a condom, but that is subject to the condition that the wife gives her permission for that, because she has the right to full enjoyment and also to have a child. The evidence for that is the hadeeth of Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: We used to engage in coitus interruptus at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). News of that reached the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and he did not forbid us to do that. Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 250; Muslim, 160

Although that is permitted, it is nevertheless makrooh and intensely disliked. Muslim (1442) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was asked about coitus interruptus and he said: “That is the secret burying alive of infants.” This indicates that it is strongly disliked.

Al-Nawawi said:

Coitus interruptus means intercourse in which, when ejaculation approaches, the man withdraws and ejaculates outside the vagina. It is makrooh in our view in all circumstances and with all women, whether the woman consents to that or not, because it is a means of preventing offspring. Hence in the hadeeth it is called “the secret burying alive of children,” because it cuts off the means of producing offspring, like killing a newborn by burying him or her alive. With regard to it being haraam, our companions said that it was not forbidden…

These ahaadeeth and others, when taken in conjunction, may be understood as meaning that it is makrooh, but not strongly so, and the reports in which permission is given for that may be understood as meaning that it is not haraam; they do not mean that it is not makrooh.

It is better for the Muslim not to do that, unless there is a need for it, such as if the woman is sick and cannot cope with a pregnancy or it would be too difficult for her or would cause her harm. Also, coitus interruptus cancels out one of the purposes of marriage, which is to have a lot of children, and it also means that the woman’s pleasure is incomplete.

Intercourse and masturbation with one's fiancee

I have a young friend who had excepted the Islamic faith some time ago. Prior to excepting his new Faith he was sexually active with his girlfriend. After excepting his new Faith he would masterbate to relieve him of his sexual tensions. I advised him that masturbating was forbidden as well. Now he is engaged to be married in a couple of years and him and his Fiance have sex and masterbate for each other. The reason for the delay in the marriage is that they are financially unstable at this point. He wants to know if masterbation and intercourse is permisble under these circumstances and if they are not what can he do to remedy this?
Praise be to Allaah.

We praise Allaah for having blessed your friend and guided him to Islam, as we ask Allaah to make him steadfast in adhering to it until death. He has succeeded in attaining the greatest achievement in life, which is coming forth from the darkness of kufr and shirk to the light of Islam and guidance, and the worship of Allaah alone with no partner or associate. Whatever blameworthy former customs are left, it will be easy for him to give them up in sha Allaah, if he seeks the help of Allaah, because whoever gives up the religion that he grew up in and enters the true religion, it will become easy for him to give up the habits that he was accustomed to during his jaahiliyyah. The secret habit (i.e. masturbation) is a disease which harms the one who does it. See question no. 329, 12277.

So he has to give up this bad habit and follow the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said, “ Young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering one’s gaze and guarding one’s chastity. Whoever cannot afford that, then let him fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400).

With regard to his question about having sex with his fiancée – if what he means by fiancée is the woman with whom he has made a marriage contract according to sharee’ah, then whatever sexual activities he does with her are correct, good and halaal. But if he is referring to a woman to whom he has proposed marriage but has not yet made a marriage contract, then what they are doing is haraam and is a kind of zina (fornication or adultery) and evil action, and both of them have exposed themselves to the wrath and punishment of Allaah.

The fact that he is financially unable to get married does not justify doing the things that he has done with his fiancée, if he had not made a proper marriage contract with her. It should be noted that the fiancée is considered to be a stranger (non-mahram) to the fiancé, like any other non-mahram woman, so it is not permissible for him to be alone with her, or for her to masturbate him with her hand, or for him to kiss her, or for him to speak to her unless that is for a specific purpose and from behind a screen and without any feelings of desire. See question no. 8994.

The solution in this case is for him to do the marriage contract with her, because if he does the marriage contract with a woman it is then permissible for him to do everything with her, as she has now become his wife, even if the wedding party has not yet taken place. See question no. 13886.

It is also permissible for a husband to be masturbated by his wife’s hand. See question no. 826.

If he is not able to get married, then he has to be patient, as stated above. And Allaah is the Source of strength.


Islam Q&A
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid